For whatever reason, I always seem to date women who go to the gym. Don’t ask me how, don’t ask me why. It’s not like I have a preference for a woman who walks on treadmills. I don’t even have a gym membership, so it’s not like I am there recruiting. This just seems to be a pattern with me, one that doesn’t necessarily appeal to me. I am not saying I prefer a woman who doesn’t go to the gym. All I’m saying is a woman who goes to the gym doesn’t get extra points for going. It doesn’t turn me on, if anything, it slightly concerns me if only because since I don’t go to the gym, I feel like a woman who does passes judgment on me. Sometimes, after a workout, they’d even send me sweaty selfies on whatsapp, expecting me to be impressed. They assume I don’t take pride in my body or I have no desire to stay healthy, when in reality, neither of these things couldn’t be further from the truth. I just don’t go to the gym. I prefer to work out sporadically from my home. The old prison work out my uncle taught me. And yet, for some women I dated, this eventually became an issue. One even accused me over whatsapp of being “lazy” just because I didn’t want to run on a treadmill with her.

Just because my girl goes to the gym does not mean I need to go to the gym with her or workout with her. My idea of working out is really quite simple and always has been. It doesn’t take any fancy contraptions or monthly membership fees. All I need is a clean floor to knock out my push ups and crunches, and my coffee table to do triceps presses. Since I hate running, I also have a jump rope, that I am admittedly horrible at. But all in all, I am perfectly capable of developing nice arms and whatnot from the comfort of my home. I don’t need the gym, and I also don’t need a woman who tries to convince me otherwise. Honestly, I’d rather swap workout tips over whatsapp than follow her to some crowded fitness class. One girl I used to date, begged me to workout with her. Her reason: A couple who works out together, stays together. So to prove her wrong, I started working out with her. Then I stopped dating her. Later she sent me a salty whatsapp message saying, “You just don’t get fitness culture.” She was right — I don’t. There was another girl who always gave me a look whenever she went running and I would stay inside, or she would come home from the gym and see me sitting on the couch watching television. To ignore her death stare I would purposely start working out closer to the time she would get back, just to show her while she was out running or working out, I was doing something too. And yet, she never believed me; always searched for my bottle of sweat she assumed I sprayed on as she was unlocking her door. I even sent her a quick whatsapp video once of me mid-pushups, but she thought I staged it.

Finally, one girl actually convinced me to join the gym with her and it honestly didn’t take much for her to do so. I was already thinking about joining a gym that opened up down the street from me, so I actually was the one to suggest we start working out together. Admittedly, I was somewhat self-conscious of her going to such a meat market. I thought, There is no way I’m letting some other dude with nice arms spot her. Besides, I kind of felt like taking my prison work to the next level by incorporating some actual workout equipment and with the convenient location, I had all the incentive I needed. I even told my friend on whatsapp that maybe this was my chance to finally give the gym a real shot. On our first day of going to the gym together, it was me, the girl and her good friend. To ease my process into this whole gym culture, the three of us did a gym class, a boot camp like class. The result? I went to the bathroom to throw up. What did my girl and her best friend do? Not throw up. Laugh at me. Probably to this day. Later, when I checked my phone, my buddy had already spammed me on whatsapp asking how many pushups I survived. After that, I decided to never go to the gym again. I even updated my whatsapp status to “Gym is cancelled forever” — just so everyone got the message.

Here’s the lesson in my story. Some men don’t need to go to the gym and throw up to get nice arms or even to stay healthy. Some men, like myself, can do whatever it takes from home. For any woman out there who goes to the gym and has a man who doesn’t go to the gym, unless he’s out of shape or just not fun to look at anymore, leave him alone. Let him do his own workout. If you want to share motivation, fine — send me a funny meme on whatsapp. Don’t drag me to a boot camp. The snap judgments on the stay at home gym rats or even the men who don’t work out need to cease. I understand some women might find it appealing to be with a man whose pounding out their reps, but if that’s the kind of man you want, that’s the kind of man you should get. They’re out there, at gyms across America. Don’t try to get us stay at home workout fiends to join some gym so we can race each other on a treadmill. That’s not romantic. That’s not even fun. Not to me. The only part of a workout regimen I want to do together is hitting the showers afterward, and we can do that from the place I work out. At home. Or, if you really need proof, I’ll send you a sweaty whatsapp selfie right after.